First, I prayed about it. Then I took time to listen to what I was talking about to others. it is something I struggle with in myself. I want more of God in my life and accepting that He wants to be is difficult when you are not so accepting of yourself. I see a beauty in those who are close to the Father God. An acceptance. I have been a Christian 38 years and have let things in my past keep from being who the Father desires me to be.