October 11, 2023
Written by Polly Clawson, Equipping Coordinator at Port City Community Church
Emotions well up within me that are difficult to articulate when I reflect on the past year. There’s a mixture of gratitude, sorrow, joy, heartache, humility, grief, love, disappointment, and resolve. Friends who know the challenges I’ve faced often ask, “How did you get through all the pain and suffering?”
My daily personal relationship with God is, without any doubt, the answer to that question. He is the source of who I am and who I am becoming. Wait a second…becoming? I am 60 years old today. So it’s somewhat funny to consider that I’m still becoming, but indeed I am.
From a miraculous rescue at ten days old in Japan to my providential adoption by a young American Navy couple, I’ve experienced an incredibly full life of blessings, hurdles, and second chances. My life is a story of God’s pursuit, patience, and promise. I was saved at age 7; I have loved Jesus my whole life, even though I haven’t always lived a life worthy of His calling. Each day God graciously gives me continues to be a process of growing up in Christ Jesus and yearning for a life of oneness with my Heavenly Father.
“Remember” was my word for 2022. I recall reluctantly landing on it after sensing God’s gentle but persistent nudging to trust and obey. “Agape” was my word for 2021. I wanted to learn to love sacrificially and unconditionally. Both words were challenging in their own ways, revealing how much “becoming” I still had ahead of me.
2021 was a year of loss. My dad passed after battling the horrific disease of Lewy Body Dementia in July. My mother-in-law died in September, and my sweet nephew, Garrett, went to be with Jesus in October after 25 years of special needs and spreading joy to those around him. Then, in August 2022, my mother also unexpectedly passed away. The tears still burn when they catch me off guard – I’m okay until I’m not. But each time brings a little healing and a reminder to “remember.”
Can you relate? Are there memories of a person, an event, or a circumstance that catches you off guard – you’re okay until you’re not? What do you do with those moments? I invite you to lean in and dare to remember God’s faithfulness, grace, and provision. Remember who you are as a child of God in the process of becoming and that He is with you no matter what you experience or encounter. Remembering His marvelous deeds of old helps us be confident in today’s moments.
Remembering is a discipline. It requires something of us, invokes something in us, and inspires our soul within us. My One Word involves intentional spiritual formation. Transformation doesn’t just happen; it requires intentionality and focus. Moment by moment, a choice is before me: do I live for myself, or do I spend my days bringing a bit of God’s Kingdom to the places around me?
So, will you consider who you are becoming and join us in pursuing God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven by prayerfully engaging with the MOW journey? God is for you. He calls you to be strong and courageous, to not tremble or be dismayed; He is with you. He is our secure foundation that upholds you and me.
How would you describe the person you are becoming?
Where do you need to remember God’s faithfulness to you? Why did that circumstance or area of your heart come to mind?
Abba Father, help us to believe, to be willing to walk with You in a personal relationship moment by moment, allowing You to reveal Yourself to us, in us, and through us as Your Kingdom comes on earth as it is in heaven. In Your name, Jesus. Amen.