January 17, 2011
We were hanging out by the pool and I was about to leave, and so she hugged me, but we didnt immediately pull apart. As we stood there holding each other, strangely not feeling awkwardmaybe thats just because wed known each other ten years, so whats a minute of hugging in a decade of friendship?she called us nerds. I replied by asking to kiss her.
She asked if we could talk about it, and I said sure. Then I leaned forward and I kissed her.
It lasted only a momentone of those moments that seem to last foreverfollowed talking for the next many moments. And then, after another kiss, I went home.
Id mounted up on wings like eagles, and baby, I was soaring.
Two years and much prayer later, I married heralso with her permissionand now, a year and a half later, weve made it something like five times longer than half of celebrity marriages.
All of that is a sorta cheesy way of introducing my word this year: forward. Without that first step, that first kiss and that first conversation, terrifying and intense as it might have been, maybe we never get married.
I have visions and dreams. There are things I know I want to do, things I have wanted to do for a long time, that I just havent yet, or that Ive started and stopped a half-dozen different times. One thing about life: it just goes nonstop.
Having grown up in a Christian family and Christian school, I know to rely on God and all that. I try, but since Im human, and as such, just hopeless by default, I get distracted because there is a deadline to meet and a project to finish and a dog to feedand a couple hours later, clean up afterand, basically, life to live.
And with all that and everything else life demands, its plenty easy to forget God. Those dreams and visions arent just there randomly. Well, some are. Like the ones after we eat pizza before bed. But you know what Im talking about. Those dreams that dont go away, that make us tremble with anticipation and wonder. What if?
But weve got to chase them. If we dont, well never know why we dreamed them at all.
Im passionate about telling great stories, and Ive long had a vision of what that meant. Some of it Ive reached, and some of it I cant pursue yet but some of it I can, and just havent. Thats going to become my big project this year. Ive committed this year to, well, moving forward. And so that makes this year about walking out in faith and pure faith alone, knowing that, though there is much potential, there is no guarantee.
Thats trusting God. Whats funny is how Ive trusted Him before, and though terrified and completely unsure of where whatever I was doing at the time was taking me, when I got there, there was no more doubt. And yet each time a new dream arises, I find myself still doubting. But acting and believing in spite of doubtthats faith.
The cliché says we take a leap of it, trusting God to catch us.
Only, I dont think my leap is about getting caught. I think my leap is about learning how to fly. Weve all had that dream, to fly. And yeah, Id like to fly.
Only thing about flying: it requires I dare to leave the ground. Eagles never soar standing still.
Brandon is a Wilmington-based professional freelance journalist, copywriter, and editor. He is the author of The Edge of Legend: An Incredible Story of Faith and Basketball (Port 2010) and has contributed to ESPN The Magazine, ESPN.com, SI.com, and Our State (NC) mag, in additional to myriad regional publications. He blogs about great stories, marriage, life, and his and his wife’s ridiculous Jack Russell Terrier at brandonsneed.com.