our blog
Jan
Forcing Clarity
It never fails, once I start thinking of a new word the lessons surrounding my previous word increase. It’s as though God is operating on His own timeline rather than mine – this shouldn’t surprise me. Suddenly, I start feeling as though I’m not ready for a new word. I question whether I gave last years word enough consideration. Did I journal enough? Have I really adopted it as a mindset the way I had planned to?
This way of thinking can overwhelm us when picking a new word, especially when trying to sum up everything that we still need to work on with just one. For example, this year, I want to continue working on being the best husband and father I can be, I want to be better at serving others, I want to be more active in ministry, and the list goes on. Finding a word that encapsulates all of the things that are important to me this year isn’t easy, and I’ve been more grateful than ever that we have until February 1st to decide.
When we seek to improve our life in any way our tendency is to look deeper and deeper into ourselves until we find an answer. I want to do the opposite. There is one word that keeps coming to mind during my quiet time – understanding. It’s a good word but I want to spend less time being introspective and more time being outwardly active in my faith.
So, as reluctant as I was to choose understanding as my word, I decided to at least spend some time with it and begin praying for more understanding about what God wants to do in my life; He must increase and I must decrease (John 3:30). A couple of weeks have passed and I’ve come to understand that God has been using my previous word, temple, to position me for this new year.
My final word came to me while looking over some of my past journal entries and study notes. Early in the year I was studying the temple that king Solomon, and the people of Israel, had built for God. The following verse was scribbled on the page:
“When Solomon finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices, and the glory of the Lord filled the temple.” (2 Chronicles 7:1)
Then it hits me, the person who I want to be this year can only be realized in His glory. I must come to understand that, like the temple in 2 Chronicles, when God fills me with His glory it comes down like a consuming fire. All of the frustration, anxiety, or doubt of choosing a new word or expectations of who I want to be this year, is reduced to ash. The only thing left is the glory of what God is doing at this moment, on His timeline. So, my one word for 2011 is Glory.
For some, picking a word might be easy, but for most of us it requires much prayer and consideration. How I have come to pick my one word is a testament to the importance of journaling. By looking back on the past year, and what the Spirit has taught me, I have gained a better understanding of where He is leading me this year.
If you are struggling to pick a word, or even narrow down your options, I encourage you to reflect on where you’ve been and how God might be continuing to use your past words. Of course the best advice I can give anyone on picking a word is to just ask God for His advice.
Jan
Avoiding Circles
C.S. Lewis once quipped “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” My hope when I pick my one word is that it will have a similar impact on my life. I want to see my word and focus on it, but I also hope that God uses it to illuminate many other aspects of my life. There is an exciting pressure about picking my word!
I’ve had some words that have helped—and continue to help—me grow in Christ. “Relational” was my word in 2007. It forced me to put relationships ahead of tasks, agendas, efficiency and effectiveness and all the things that have “rescued me” and garnered praise from others. “Relational” helped me become a gentler husband and father and even a better co-worker because I enter more conversations looking to have a closer bond not just a better decision.
In 2008 my word was “authentic.” We talk about “encounter, formation and expression” at PC3 and my word came out of a desire to not simply perform Christ likeness but express His love and will in the world because of my authentic encounters with God, and His formational work within me. It was a noble goal but only partly realized. I admit and repent of the fact that I got too busy to use this word as a point of encounter . . . . at least I’m being authentic now!
“Pure” was my word for 2009. I was giving my young son fake attention while answering email on my laptop. He didn’t catch me, but I caught myself and it hurt. “Pure” for me was not just about dealing with sin patterns (though that was part of it) it was about being undivided when the moment called for it; when the relationship called for it. It was a push against multi-tasking. Later that year, my daughter asked me to snuggle with her as she fell asleep. The email beckoned but I snuggled. More than that, I stayed pure. Instead of rehearsing answers to emails I prayed for my daughter, for her friendships, for her purity, for her future husband, for wisdom as her dad, for every aspect of her life that came to mind. “Pure” helped me have that moment.
In 2010 I forgot my word. I had to look it up in preparing to write this. And guess what, the word was? “Enjoy.” I picked it while running on the beach and realizing that I was approaching the run as a task to stay in shape instead of a wonderful opportunity to take in God’s creation and enjoy my body’s ability to run. But, the year was a hard one at work and I let it choke out my word. Comedian Jeff Foxworthy has a running joke ‘You might be a redneck . . .” For me it’s more like “You might be a Martha” or “You might be the prodigal son’s older brother . . .” I’m prone to see life as obligations and then get bitter at meeting them while others enjoy the party. “If your word is “enjoy” and you forget it by May, you might be a Martha.” Yep.
Left to their own sense of direction, most people will travel in a circle when left in the wilderness. Sometimes I feel like that’s me. I seem to wrestle with same issues over and over and forward progress is inconsistent. I also tend to wander away so knowingly with lame rationalizations. So, my word for 2011 is “compass.”
Mike talks about the “normal, natural use of scripture” as a marker of Christian maturity. I think that “normal, natural” idea can carry over to a lot of areas. For me, it speaks of pulling in God’s truth to a given situation quickly and without fanfare. My “compass” is not about any issues of doubt in my ultimate destination. The compass is about frequent checking in with what’s true and not wandering on my own. Off we go!
Jan
It’s All About Moving Forward
We were hanging out by the pool and I was about to leave, and so she hugged me, but we didn’t immediately pull apart. As we stood there holding each other, strangely not feeling awkward—maybe that’s just because we’d known each other ten years, so what’s a minute of hugging in a decade of friendship?—she called us nerds. I replied by asking to kiss her.
She asked if we could talk about it, and I said sure. Then I leaned forward and I kissed her.
It lasted only a moment—one of those moments that seem to last forever—followed talking for the next many moments. And then, after another kiss, I went home.
I’d mounted up on wings like eagles, and baby, I was soaring.
Two years and much prayer later, I married her—also with her permission—and now, a year and a half later, we’ve made it something like five times longer than half of celebrity marriages.
All of that is a sorta cheesy way of introducing my word this year: forward. Without that first step, that first kiss and that first conversation, terrifying and intense as it might have been, maybe we never get married.
I have visions and dreams. There are things I know I want to do, things I have wanted to do for a long time, that I just haven’t yet, or that I’ve started and stopped a half-dozen different times. One thing about life: it just goes nonstop.
Having grown up in a Christian family and Christian school, I know to rely on God and all that. I try, but since I’m human, and as such, just hopeless by default, I get distracted because there is a deadline to meet and a project to finish and a dog to feed—and a couple hours later, clean up after—and, basically, life to live.
And with all that and everything else life demands, it’s plenty easy to forget God. Those dreams and visions aren’t just there randomly. Well, some are. Like the ones after we eat pizza before bed. But you know what I’m talking about. Those dreams that don’t go away, that make us tremble with anticipation and wonder. What if?
But we’ve got to chase them. If we don’t, we’ll never know why we dreamed them at all.
I’m passionate about telling great stories, and I’ve long had a vision of what that meant. Some of it I’ve reached, and some of it I can’t pursue yet … but some of it I can, and just haven’t. That’s going to become my big project this year. I’ve committed this year to, well, moving forward. And so that makes this year about walking out in faith and pure faith alone, knowing that, though there is much potential, there is no guarantee.
That’s trusting God. What’s funny is how I’ve trusted Him before, and though terrified and completely unsure of where whatever I was doing at the time was taking me, when I got there, there was no more doubt. And yet each time a new dream arises, I find myself still doubting. But acting and believing in spite of doubt—that’s faith.
The cliché says we take a leap of it, trusting God to catch us.
Only, I don’t think my leap is about getting caught. I think my leap is about learning how to fly. We’ve all had that dream, to fly. And yeah, I’d like to fly.
Only thing about flying: it requires I dare to leave the ground. Eagles never soar standing still.
Brandon is a Wilmington-based professional freelance journalist, copywriter, and editor. He is the author of The Edge of Legend: An Incredible Story of Faith and Basketball (Port 2010) and has contributed to ESPN The Magazine, ESPN.com, SI.com, and Our State (NC) mag, in additional to myriad regional publications. He blogs about great stories, marriage, life, and his and his wife’s ridiculous Jack Russell Terrier at brandonsneed.com.