When I gaze across the ocean, I can see watery expanses of aqua stretching to the horizon. But I can’t see the life beneath. The swimming fish, seaweed and swirling sand are all invisible to me from above.

Sometimes that’s how I like to keep it with my spiritual life. It’s my default mode to keep even my closest girlfriends skimming the surface of my life. Nothing to see here, just some salty water. And to be perfectly honest, I’m much more comfortable with other people’s surface waters than their murky depths.

But I know God didn’t create me to live a life of emotional isolation. He would’ve put us all on our own individual deserted islands if that were his intention. Nope, he wants us to let each other in. Maybe not everyone, but a few trusted souls. And let them in deeply.

When I am vulnerable and share thoughts or feelings I’m sure I shouldn’t have with a godly friend, and I accept the encouragement she offers me, I know God is at work. Recently I shared a struggle and my friend began asking me questions I hadn’t considered before. In a gentle way, she rebuked me for a sin I hadn’t even seen in myself. I walked away with a new perspective—and action to take instead of wallowing in self-pity.

The reverse situation is equally powerful. When a girlfriend shares her struggles with me, my heart instantly softens and the Holy Spirit seems to take over, giving me helpful words to say. On occasion those words are firm, which makes me uncomfortable. But we all need firmness delivered in love sometimes. Like Paul said to Timothy:

Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. -2 Timothy 4:2

Questions for Reflection

• Has anyone ever trusted you with a fear or secret sin? How did you respond to that person?
• Is there something you’re holding inside right now that keeps nagging at your soul? If so, can you think of one person you trust to share it with?
• What would be the worst thing that could happen if you shared? What would be the best thing that could happen?
• If you trust Jesus as your Savior, do you trust that you are completely forgiven, even for any current sinful thoughts or actions?
• If you’re not sure about Jesus, what research can you do to discover the truth about him?

The idea of relationships is simply about connecting or more importantly finding a connection.  The implication is that we must be proactive—we must find these points of connection and common ground.  Then we need to go a step further and bear with one another instead of checking out or running when things get too personal.  We want so desperately to be known, we say we want to be held accountable for the things we struggle with, yet we set boundaries up in our minds.

When people get to close to those boundaries, we start to backstep and rethink our connections to those people.  When it becomes personal, it becomes dangerous.  People might actually figure out that we don’t have it together.  Living authentically means being vulnerable and transparent.

If someone is taking you seriously and is willing to hold you accountable to your word, it requires willingness on your part to accept responsibility for your own spiritual change.  This means taking on a posture of help and transparency. We must fight our natural inclination to hide from others when we are struggling with something or living in sin.

Entering into a relationship where accountability and spiritual vulnerability are cornerstones requires us to be honest and upfront with our struggles, not sending our friends on a fishing expedition for the truth.  Doing life together requires all to be proactive in their own relationship with Christ. The challenge before us is to step up our walk by examining our heart.

If we are not willing to be vulnerable before God, we will never go deep with others. Our relationships will remain superficial at best and we will continue to use others solely for our own benefit. We have to remember that in Christ we have the fullness of love necessary to live with others without having to get.

• What are the places where you need support, encouragement and accountability? Who knows about these places?  For those that could not come up with a name, we encourage you to tell someone you trust about your experience with my One Word. For those that have a community of supporters, take a moment and reflect on how well these people know about your current progress towards growth. In both cases, be honest about your need for accountability.

Are you looking for a way to keep your word in front of you all year long? Register for a My One Word account! One of the key features of a MOW account is an online Word Journal that allows you to capture your thoughts to reflective questions like you see above. You can go back at any time to read your completed journals to see how God has been moving in your life through your word in 2011.  If you already have an account, the questions from this blog have been posted to your Word Journal — log in to your account to start your Word Journal today!

While on vacation, our family took a day trip to a petting zoo. Our daughters loved getting up close and personal with all the animals. The place had your normal array of animals: bunnies, chickens, pigs, sheep, donkeys and miniature horses. Yet, there was a little creature living in a pen off to the side who I never expected to see at a place like this.

When the workers introduced our group to Pat I couldn’t help but snicker from the irony of it all. You see, Pat was a porcupine and porcupines aren’t regarded as the friendliest of creatures. With thousands of sharp quills attached to their body for protection, ‘patting’ or even petting a porcupine seems like an activity which should be avoided at all costs.

Regardless of Pat being a bit more laid back and docile, his natural tendency was the same as any porcupine. If someone invades his personal space, Pat either attacks or hides. In his mind, lashing out or withdrawing are the best options on the table. His quills keep him safe. They keep him alive. But, they also leave him very lonely.

Part of me felt badly for poor old Pat. Having a relationship proves to be a tricky thing because relationships require closeness and vulnerability. How does one experience community if their first reaction to someone getting close is impaling them with a razor sharp quill? How is someone ever known if they hide in the bushes whenever another animal comes by just to say hello?

Then out of nowhere I began feeling sad for myself after realizing Pat and I have a lot in common. I might not have quills to stab another individual, but my hurtful words, judgmental tone, deflective barbs, sharp sarcasm and destructive thoughts can wound any relationship which gets too personal for my liking. The thought of others getting to know the ‘real’ me terrifies me and puts me in attack and withdraw mode.

Hiding my weaknesses, bad habits and ugly tendencies from those around me always seems to be the best course of action. This action appears to provide me with a sense of security, peace and comfort. Yet, these feelings are fleeting at best and rather than thriving, it leaves me living life alone in pure survival mode.

We need each other in order to grow and for our One Word to take root in our lives. To be fully loved an individual must be fully known. This will never take place if you have your quills raised ready to pounce on anyone who dares to see past the façade of the false self you present to the world. So, today we want to leave you with this question: How are you being a porcupine in your relationships? What can you do to be a little less ‘prickly’ today to those trying to care for you?

Everyone is terrified to be known! With that first tentative step into community, you risk being known.  That includes the good, the bad and the ugly.  Putting yourself out there is scary, but what if you ignore God’s commission and live in isolation?  What is at stake when we fail to live life as God defined it?  It is not our acceptance by God.  Your salvation was eternally secure from the very moment you entrusted yourself to Jesus.  However, your unbelief and mistrust of God will short-circuit the life God desires to give you.

It is easy to play mind games with yourself and think if you disregard what God is saying to you in one area, that your unbelief won’t adversely affect other areas of your spiritual life.  The truth is, as many of us have learned the hard way, disregarding God in any way will eventually corrupt every aspect of our relationship with God.

Hebrews 3:12-13
12 Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God.  13 But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Sin is seductive, enticing, deceitful and, eventually, hardening.  It cannot deliver what it promises.  Sin promises pleasure, but that is fleeting, which only fuels the fire of addiction.  “Hardness” in Hebrews 3:13 is translated from the Greek word for callus.  Calluses form on the palms of your hands from constant hard use.  Calluses, like a hardened heart, do not form overnight.

We are so depraved that, left alone, we will fall into unbelief and will deceive ourselves the entire time we are spiraling more and more out of control.  This is why we need the protection of honest involvement with others who are trying to listen to God’s voice.

COMMUNITY PROMOTES FORMATION.  In community, we can not only grow in our faith by reading and studying God’s Word, but by sharing our struggles, confessing when we have gotten off-track before it goes on too long, and challenging each other.  The encouragement we receive from members of our community prevents us from falling away and becoming hardened.

As odd as it might sound, when I am walking outside sometimes I am looking for places that would make good spots to hide. I blame it on the numerous summer days spent playing Hide and Seek with my friends. All the kids would fan out through the neighborhood searching for a place to disappear hoping that the person who was “It” would never locate them. Climbing up trees, ducking between bushes, hiding underneath a set of stairs – anywhere where they were out of sight would do. Yet, being the last one found was a badge of honor on our block.

It was a sense of accomplishment to hear someone scream out “Olly Oxen Free!” This expression is familiar to anyone who has spent anytime on a playground. It is used in children’s games to signal that the game is over or that the main player has given up hope of winning.

Now as a father of two young girls, I watch them play hide and seek and it is charming. However, during my time walking alongside people as a pastor, I’ve come to realize watching grown men and woman still playing this game is nothing but depressing. The sad truth is that there are some who are still hidden behind that bush waiting for someone, anyone, to make that call: Olly, Olly, Oxen Free!

The game is the same, we’ve just come up with different hiding places and the players have perfected the craft of disappearing. True community will never take place if we remain hidden behind our jobs, fake appearances, social status, or pat Christian answers. The game of hide and seek will continue on from sun up to sun down.

Somebody has to have the courage to make the call: Olly, Olly, Oxen Free! It only takes one person who is willing to lay down their agenda for others to realize they can come out hiding without the risk of being caught. There is no fear of being caught—only found.  There is no longer the pressure to hide.

Community is essential in our transformation process. Without being known others, the likelihood of true inner change occurring is very slim. Every one of us needs a few people to tell us the truth about our heart, point out our weaknesses, and also celebrate our successes. It is imperative that we all have someone who will ask those difficult questions.

• Read Proverbs 27:17, Hebrews 10:23-25 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Why is being known inside of community critical to our individual growth?

• Think of the area where you are most vulnerable to stumbling as it relates to your One Word. What are you risking by keeping your struggles to yourself? What benefit is there to becoming transparent before God and inside community?

Are you looking for a way to keep your word in front of you all year long? Register for a My One Word account! One of the key features of a MOW account is an online Word Journal that allows you to capture your thoughts to reflective questions like you see above. You can go back at any time to read your completed journals to see how God has been moving in your life through your word in 2011.  If you already have an account, the questions from this blog have been posted to your Word Journal –log in to your account to start your Word Journal today!

When the leaves begin to turn colors and the air gets a littler crisper at night, fall festivals start taking place in cities and towns all across America. It’s a special time of year when everyone in town comes together to celebrate their community over amusement rides, chili cook-offs, and funnel cake. There is so much to see and do at the fair you don’t know where to begin.

You and a few of your friends hand over two tickets and enter one of the favorite attractions in the House of Mirrors. As everyone goes their separate ways, you get misplaced from your group and lost amongst the hundreds of mirrors. Out of the corner of your eye, you see reflections of your friends in a few of the mirrors. Numerous reflections, but only one is where you friends will be found. You try to pursue them and head towards a reflection. WHAM! Your head smacks up against a mirror. Wrong reflection.

Your second and third attempt produce similar results. Just when you think you are on the right track there comes another dead end. Frustrated and sore you give up your pursuit and head towards the exit. From the way the walls are constructed to the angles of the mirrors, the purpose of the ride is to mess with someone’s spatial and visual senses. The shapes in the House of Mirrors give the participants unusual and confusing reflections of themselves and those around them.

Whether we realize it or not, we tend to live our lives like we are in that House of Mirrors by engaging in the game of self-preservation. Even though we crave to be in relationships with others where we are known, vulnerability is something we fear at the same time.  Our culture has programmed us to keep people at arm’s length. We have grown into a society that seldom trusts the intention of other people and because of this we are often apprehensive about letting people know us.

This is not meant to imply that you don’t have close friends or anyone in your life that really knows you. But even in those relationships there are often barriers that are erected to manage an image that we want to maintain. The barrier to developing authentic relationships is self-preservation. In general, we want others to perceive us better than we even perceive ourselves. We often struggle with disappointing other people or not measuring up to some standard that always feels out of reach.

We are afraid that if we take off our masks or expose our problems, we will be rejected. At the fall carnival, we shun the rejected like the Bearded Woman, Two Headed Boy and Midget Lady to the House of Freaks. We pay our money and snap our pictures as we gaze at people who don’t fit in to normal society.  We struggle with whether others will perceive us as normal or not.

What we fail to realize is that everybody has a habit they struggle to control, a past they can’t undo, an insecurity they hide, or a flaw they are desperately trying to correct. The good news is we don’t believe anyone is normal or has it all together. Everyone is crazy. Unfortunately, if things remain the same and we allow self-preservation to exist, we hinder our spiritual formation and growth.

If we are to survive and continue to grow out of our struggles we need a community around us to encourage us. If we are more concerned with our own self-preservation we will hide behind an image that we want others to have about us. Our desire for self-preservation is often at the expense of developing authentic relationships with those around us. So how do we start? As with all things, we center on God.

If we are going to develop authentic relationships, we have to be authentic ourselves and authentic with God about where we are. Authenticity is an accurate reflection of truth. Authenticity enables us to truly reflect where we currently are in our relationship with God. Whether it is good, bad or ugly, our honesty serves as a starting point for conversations to begin and change to occur.

• There are many reasons we have for not engaging with others. What barriers are you constructing that are preventing others from seeing the real you? How is this hindering your pursuit of your One Word?

• Read 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, Colossians 2:9-10 and Psalm 139:23-24. According to these verses, what does it mean to be authentic before others and God? Would you say you are being authentic before God or engaging in self-preservation? What makes you answer in the way that you do?

Are you looking for a way to keep your word in front of you all year long? Register for a My One Word account! One of the key features of a MOW account is an online Word Journal that allows you to capture your thoughts to reflective questions like you see above. You can go back at any time to read your completed journals to see how God has been moving in your life through your word in 2010.  If you already have an account, the questions from this blog have been posted to your Word Journal — log in to your account to start your Word Journal today!

Have you ever had to make a decision and in the process of sharing it with someone you come to your own conclusion before they even get out their third “uh-huh?”  Things just sound different in our head than they do when said out loud. The same concept is true in understanding how your word is taking shape in your life.

Philemon 1:6
“I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.”

Have you been struggling with applying your word? If so, talking it out is a sure way to gain some insight on what may be hindering you. Community is what helps us see the forest for the trees. If your word is just a private matter then you risk not seeing the big picture of what God is doing. When you open up to your community, and discuss what you are learning throughout this journey, your understanding of how God is using your word increases. Even if the opposite is true, and my one word has been a great experience thus far; Acknowledging every good thing that takes place in your life is a reminder for you of God’s faithfulness. Reminding yourself of the progress you have made puts you in a position to better receive and apply what God has revealed to you.

Another way of looking at the word sharing, in the verse above, is that of participation. When we open up to others concerning our word, this encourages them to do the same. Suddenly, there is a common thread, a partnership between us. This sense of partnership encourages us to view each others word as equally important to God. By sharing with one another we are exploring what God has given us for the formation that we want to see take place.

Our walks are designed to be a collaboration. We are to serve and support one another in love. This begins by actually opening up and sharing, both the good and the bad. It’s just as important to celebrate our small achievements as it is to admit when we aren’t making the kind of progress that we had hoped we would. In doing so, we discover a common bond that is sure to bring clarity and encouragement for moving forward.

The first word that I picked, three years ago, was humility. At the time, my wife and I had just closed a business, and had a newborn son. There was no work to be found, especially for someone with an advertising background. I eventually found a job as a dishwasher at a cafe and market. Most of my interview was spent convincing my potential employers that I was serious about the job. I was hired but admittedly, it was difficult for me to think about being stuck behind a sink, and up to my elbows in pots and pans. So, I accepted that maybe God was going to use this experience to humble me and it did, but it also did something I wasn’t expecting, it had a direct impact on those around me.

As a husband and father, I didn’t exactly feel like much of a provider working a part-time job, at a less than desirable hourly rate, but my wife saw things differently. The fact that I would do whatever I could to support our family helped her apply her word at the time, which was release. My humility in taking that job encouraged her to release some of her worry, or need for control in her own life, taking the pressure off of herself and putting her trust in God.

Gods plan is to use the change taking place within you to cultivate change in your family, your neighborhood, your job, and your church. Ephesians chapter 5 talks about different gifts being given to people “for the equipping of the church.” The Greek word for equipping is katartizo and it means to cause something to function properly. This same principle applies to your word. God wants to use your word to ensure that your church, as a whole, functions properly. What an awesome thought!

When we pick our word we spend a lot of time trying to find that perfect word that defines our lives. I would like to challenge you to think about how your word not only defines your life, but also the lives of those around you, and the church as a whole.
There are words, such as serve, that seem more far-reaching and have an obvious effect on other people. Then there are those words that seemingly only affect the individual such as faith, or persevere. So does that mean that one word carries more significance than the other when it comes to having an impact on your community? Of course not! There is a wide variety of words out there and each one has something unique to contribute to the growth of those around you. You have no idea how your word may overlap with another persons word; there is always going to be someone who will benefit from what God is doing in your life.

• Has your word helped someone else in their walk with God, or given them a new perspective on their word? If so, how has this encouraged growth in your own life?

• Read 1 Corinthians 12:12-20 Reflect on how your word can be part of Gods plan for your family, friends, work, and church.
  

Are you looking for a way to keep your word in front of you all year long? Register for a My One Word account! One of the key features of a MOW account is an online Word Journal that allows you to capture your thoughts to reflective questions like you see above. You can go back at any time to read your completed journals to see how God has been moving in your life through your word in 2010.  If you already have an account, the questions from this blog have been posted to your Word Journal — log in to your account to start your Word Journal today!

The idea of relationships is simply about connecting or more importantly finding a connection.  The implication is that we must be proactive—we must find these points of connection and common ground.  Then we need to go a step further and bear with one another instead of checking out or running when things get too personal.  We want so desperately to be known, we say we want to be held accountable for the things we struggle with, yet we set boundaries up in our minds.

When people get to close to those boundaries, we start to backstep and rethink our connections to those people.  When it becomes personal, it becomes dangerous.  People might actually figure out that we don’t have it together.  Living authentically means being vulnerable and transparent.

If someone is taking you seriously and is willing to hold you accountable to your word, it requires willingness on your part to accept responsibility for your own spiritual change.  This means taking on a posture of help and transparency. We must fight our natural inclination to hide from others when we are struggling with something or living in sin.

Entering into a relationship where accountability and spiritual vulnerability are cornerstones requires us to be honest and upfront with our struggles, not sending our friends on a fishing expedition for the truth.  Doing life together requires all to be proactive in their own relationship with Christ. The challenge before us is to step up our walk by examining our heart.

If we are not willing to be vulnerable before God, we will never go deep with others. Our relationships will remain superficial at best and we will continue to use others solely for our own benefit. We have to remember that in Christ we have the fullness of love necessary to live with others without having to get.

• What are the places where you need support, encouragement and accountability? Who knows about these places?  For those that could not come up with a name, we encourage you to tell someone you trust about your experience with my One Word. For those that have a community of supporters, take a moment and reflect on how well these people know about your current progress towards growth. In both cases, be honest about your need for accountability.

Are you looking for a way to keep your word in front of you all year long? Register for a My One Word account! One of the key features of a MOW account is an online Word Journal that allows you to capture your thoughts to reflective questions like you see above. You can go back at any time to read your completed journals to see how God has been moving in your life through your word in 2010.  If you already have an account, the questions from this blog have been posted to your Word Journal — log in to your account to start your Word Journal today!

As odd as it might sound, when I am walking outside sometimes I am looking for places that would make good spots to hide. I blame it on the numerous summer days spent playing Hide and Seek with my friends. All the kids would fan out through the neighborhood searching for a place to disappear hoping that the person who was “It” would never locate them. Climbing up trees, ducking between bushes, hiding underneath a set of stairs – anywhere where they were out of sight would do. Yet, being the last one found was a badge of honor on our block.

It was a sense of accomplishment to hear someone scream out “Olly Oxen Free!” This expression is familiar to anyone who has spent anytime on a playground. It is used in children’s games to signal that the game is over or that the main player has given up hope of winning.

Now as a father of two young girls, I watch them play hide and seek and it is charming. However, during my time walking alongside people as a pastor, I’ve come to realize watching grown men and woman still playing this game is nothing but depressing. The sad truth is that there are some who are still hidden behind that bush waiting for someone, anyone, to make that call: Olly, Olly, Oxen Free!

The game is the same, we’ve just come up with different hiding places and the players have perfected the craft of disappearing. True community will never take place if we remain hidden behind our jobs, fake appearances, social status, or pat Christian answers. The game of hide and seek will continue on from sun up to sun down.

Somebody has to have the courage to make the call: Olly, Olly, Oxen Free! It only takes one person who is willing to lay down their agenda for others to realize they can come out hiding without the risk of being caught. There is no fear of being caught—only found.  There is no longer the pressure to hide.

Community is essential in our transformation process. Without being known others, the likelihood of true inner change occurring is very slim. Every one of us needs a few people to tell us the truth about our heart, point out our weaknesses, and also celebrate our successes. It is imperative that we all have someone who will ask those difficult questions.

• Read Proverbs 27:17, Hebrews 10:23-25 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Why is being known inside of community critical to our individual growth?

• Think of the area where you are most vulnerable to stumbling as it relates to your One Word. What are you risking by keeping your struggles to yourself? What benefit is there to becoming transparent before God and inside community?

Are you looking for a way to keep your word in front of you all year long? Register for a My One Word account! One of the key features of a MOW account is an online Word Journal that allows you to capture your thoughts to reflective questions like you see above. You can go back at any time to read your completed journals to see how God has been moving in your life through your word in 2010.  If you already have an account, the questions from this blog have been posted to your Word Journal — log in to your account to start your Word Journal today!