our blog
Jun
Below The Surface
When I gaze across the ocean, I can see watery expanses of aqua stretching to the horizon. But I can’t see the life beneath. The swimming fish, seaweed and swirling sand are all invisible to me from above.
Sometimes that’s how I like to keep it with my spiritual life. It’s my default mode to keep even my closest girlfriends skimming the surface of my life. Nothing to see here, just some salty water. And to be perfectly honest, I’m much more comfortable with other people’s surface waters than their murky depths.
But I know God didn’t create me to live a life of emotional isolation. He would’ve put us all on our own individual deserted islands if that were his intention. Nope, he wants us to let each other in. Maybe not everyone, but a few trusted souls. And let them in deeply.
When I am vulnerable and share thoughts or feelings I’m sure I shouldn’t have with a godly friend, and I accept the encouragement she offers me, I know God is at work. Recently I shared a struggle and my friend began asking me questions I hadn’t considered before. In a gentle way, she rebuked me for a sin I hadn’t even seen in myself. I walked away with a new perspective—and action to take instead of wallowing in self-pity.
The reverse situation is equally powerful. When a girlfriend shares her struggles with me, my heart instantly softens and the Holy Spirit seems to take over, giving me helpful words to say. On occasion those words are firm, which makes me uncomfortable. But we all need firmness delivered in love sometimes. Like Paul said to Timothy:
Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. -2 Timothy 4:2
Questions for Reflection
- Has anyone ever trusted you with a fear or secret sin? How did you respond to that person?
- Is there something you’re holding inside right now that keeps nagging at your soul? If so, can you think of one person you trust to share it with?
- What would be the worst thing that could happen if you shared? What would be the best thing that could happen?
- If you trust Jesus as your Savior, do you trust that you are completely forgiven, even for any current sinful thoughts or actions?
- If you’re not sure about Jesus, what research can you do to discover the truth about him?
Jun
Rethinking Our Connections
The idea of relationships is simply about connecting or more importantly finding a connection. The implication is that we must be proactive—we must find these points of connection and common ground. Then we need to go a step further and bear with one another instead of checking out or running when things get too personal. We want so desperately to be known, we say we want to be held accountable for the things we struggle with, yet we set boundaries up in our minds.
When people get to close to those boundaries, we start to backstep and rethink our connections to those people. When it becomes personal, it becomes dangerous. People might actually figure out that we don’t have it together. Living authentically means being vulnerable and transparent.
If someone is taking you seriously and is willing to hold you accountable to your word, it requires willingness on your part to accept responsibility for your own spiritual change. This means taking on a posture of help and transparency. We must fight our natural inclination to hide from others when we are struggling with something or living in sin.
Entering into a relationship where accountability and spiritual vulnerability are cornerstones requires us to be honest and upfront with our struggles, not sending our friends on a fishing expedition for the truth. Doing life together requires all to be proactive in their own relationship with Christ. The challenge before us is to step up our walk by examining our heart.
If we are not willing to be vulnerable before God, we will never go deep with others. Our relationships will remain superficial at best and we will continue to use others solely for our own benefit. We have to remember that in Christ we have the fullness of love necessary to live with others without having to get.
- What are the places where you need support, encouragement and accountability? Who knows about these places? For those that could not come up with a name, we encourage you to tell someone you trust about your experience with my One Word. For those that have a community of supporters, take a moment and reflect on how well these people know about your current progress towards growth. In both cases, be honest about your need for accountability.
Are you looking for a way to keep your word in front of you all year long? Register for a My One Word account! One of the key features of a MOW account is an online Word Journal that allows you to capture your thoughts to reflective questions like you see above. You can go back at any time to read your completed journals to see how God has been moving in your life through your word in 2011. If you already have an account, the questions from this blog have been posted to your Word Journal — log in to your account to start your Word Journal today!
Jun
Pat The Porcupine
While on vacation, our family took a day trip to a petting zoo. Our daughters loved getting up close and personal with all the animals. The place had your normal array of animals: bunnies, chickens, pigs, sheep, donkeys and miniature horses. Yet, there was a little creature living in a pen off to the side who I never expected to see at a place like this.
When the workers introduced our group to Pat I couldn’t help but snicker from the irony of it all. You see, Pat was a porcupine and porcupines aren’t regarded as the friendliest of creatures. With thousands of sharp quills attached to their body for protection, ‘patting’ or even petting a porcupine seems like an activity which should be avoided at all costs.
Regardless of Pat being a bit more laid back and docile, his natural tendency was the same as any porcupine. If someone invades his personal space, Pat either attacks or hides. In his mind, lashing out or withdrawing are the best options on the table. His quills keep him safe. They keep him alive. But, they also leave him very lonely.
Part of me felt badly for poor old Pat. Having a relationship proves to be a tricky thing because relationships require closeness and vulnerability. How does one experience community if their first reaction to someone getting close is impaling them with a razor sharp quill? How is someone ever known if they hide in the bushes whenever another animal comes by just to say hello?
Then out of nowhere I began feeling sad for myself after realizing Pat and I have a lot in common. I might not have quills to stab another individual, but my hurtful words, judgmental tone, deflective barbs, sharp sarcasm and destructive thoughts can wound any relationship which gets too personal for my liking. The thought of others getting to know the ‘real’ me terrifies me and puts me in attack and withdraw mode.
Hiding my weaknesses, bad habits and ugly tendencies from those around me always seems to be the best course of action. This action appears to provide me with a sense of security, peace and comfort. Yet, these feelings are fleeting at best and rather than thriving, it leaves me living life alone in pure survival mode.
We need each other in order to grow and for our One Word to take root in our lives. To be fully loved an individual must be fully known. This will never take place if you have your quills raised ready to pounce on anyone who dares to see past the façade of the false self you present to the world. So, today we want to leave you with this question: How are you being a porcupine in your relationships? What can you do to be a little less ‘prickly’ today to those trying to care for you?