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Renovation Project

There are many projects around the house which demand my attention. I love the thought of finishing these projects, enjoying the extra space and basking in the glow of adding value to my home. Yet, the renovations never seem to get done. My wife thinks I should possess the ability to fix these things with ease like those superstars with a saw she sees on the home improvement shows. This is why I’ve contemplated blocking the Home and Garden Channel from my list of viewing options. Part of me can’t blame her for having this perspective because they make the jobs look so simple on television.

Without breaking a sweat in their flannel shirts, these guys renovate a basement, expand a kitchen and update a bathroom. This, however, is not the reason for my disdain of home improvement shows. I don’t like them because as they walk outside into a tent and use a laser level and compound miter radial arm saw as if it is assumed that an Everyday Joe would have these tools sitting around in his garage. I don’t have a laser level, compound miter radial arm saw or even a tent for that matter. To get started on the project they are describing, it would cost me 10 times the amount of the project. I simply don’t have the right tools for the job.

For many of us, another renovation project remains unfinished. This renovation is an inside job; one which deals with what is taking place deep within the heart. Reasoning we don’t have the right tools, we resign ourselves into believing this is the way I am and always will be. But, this is simply not the case. Most of our problems don’t require therapy. Instead they require we surrender them to the One who invites us to do such. The problem is we tend to forget this is the God we worship and resort to depending on our own strength to get us through. We need a tool which will help us remember to follow the invitation to cast our issues, burdens, cares and concerns to Him.

Without this tool, the normal chain of events will continue to take place. You are confronted with the facts that things need to change in your life. You realize the choices you are making are leading to frustration and pain. Taking it a step further, you even know what things you should change and the different direction you should be heading toward. With all the zeal and motion you can muster, you surrender your issue and concern over to God. There is a freedom you experience from this initial surrender, which leads you to assume the issue is done. Unfortunately, you quickly find out your assumption is wrong.

Surrendering an issue once is never enough. Surrender intervals are defined as the amount of time between points of surrender. Time is measured by our standard units of measure while the points of surrender were defined as those points in time when we muster up the emotion to surrender to God and mean it.

These gaps in surrender describe the pattern of life for many of you. You struggle deeply and consistently. Every week you make it to church and every week you surrender. Your surrender interval is 7 days and still you struggle with issues you thought you surrendered a long time ago. Maybe you have reduced your surrender intervals by attending small groups or Bible studies which cuts your moments of surrender down to ever other day or so. Then there are those of you who have a consistent daily quiet time. You wake up every morning and with all the zeal and meaning you can muster as you surrender your life to God.

What I have begun to realize is twenty-four hours is way too long of a gap. The truth is there are too many things which can happen between those moments of surrender. You surrender first thing in the morning and all seems to be going well until your kids get up, your spouse uses all the hot water or someone cuts you off in traffic. Twenty-four hours is way too long. In order to consistently cast your cares on Him you must position yourself to do so. What I need in my life is a very short surrender interval – a moment-by-moment surrender which comes with every breath.

• How does one measure surrender? How do you know when you have fully given up control of a situation to God?

• Read 1 Peter 5.7. As it relates to your One Word, what is one area where you feel God is calling you to surrender to Him? How often are you faced with the decision to yield to Him?

Are you looking for a way to keep your word in front of you all year long? Register for a My One Word account! One of the key features of a MOW account is an online Word Journal that allows you to capture your thoughts to reflective questions like you see above. You can go back at any time to read your completed journals to see how God has been moving in your life through your word in 2010.  If you already have an account, the questions from this blog have been posted to your Word Journal — log in to your account to start your Word Journal today!

House Of Mirrors

When the leaves begin to turn colors and the air gets a littler crisper at night, fall festivals start taking place in cities and towns all across America. It’s a special time of year when everyone in town comes together to celebrate their community over amusement rides, chili cook-offs, and funnel cake. There is so much to see and do at the fair you don’t know where to begin.

You and a few of your friends hand over two tickets and enter one of the favorite attractions in the House of Mirrors. As everyone goes their separate ways, you get misplaced from your group and lost amongst the hundreds of mirrors. Out of the corner of your eye, you see reflections of your friends in a few of the mirrors. Numerous reflections, but only one is where you friends will be found. You try to pursue them and head towards a reflection. WHAM! Your head smacks up against a mirror. Wrong reflection.

Your second and third attempt produce similar results. Just when you think you are on the right track there comes another dead end. Frustrated and sore you give up your pursuit and head towards the exit. From the way the walls are constructed to the angles of the mirrors, the purpose of the ride is to mess with someone’s spatial and visual senses. The shapes in the House of Mirrors give the participants unusual and confusing reflections of themselves and those around them.

Whether we realize it or not, we tend to live our lives like we are in that House of Mirrors by engaging in the game of self-preservation. Even though we crave to be in relationships with others where we are known, vulnerability is something we fear at the same time.  Our culture has programmed us to keep people at arm’s length. We have grown into a society that seldom trusts the intention of other people and because of this we are often apprehensive about letting people know us.

This is not meant to imply that you don’t have close friends or anyone in your life that really knows you. But even in those relationships there are often barriers that are erected to manage an image that we want to maintain. The barrier to developing authentic relationships is self-preservation. In general, we want others to perceive us better than we even perceive ourselves. We often struggle with disappointing other people or not measuring up to some standard that always feels out of reach.

We are afraid that if we take off our masks or expose our problems, we will be rejected. At the fall carnival, we shun the rejected like the Bearded Woman, Two Headed Boy and Midget Lady to the House of Freaks. We pay our money and snap our pictures as we gaze at people who don’t fit in to normal society.  We struggle with whether others will perceive us as normal or not.

What we fail to realize is that everybody has a habit they struggle to control, a past they can’t undo, an insecurity they hide, or a flaw they are desperately trying to correct. The good news is we don’t believe anyone is normal or has it all together. Everyone is crazy. Unfortunately, if things remain the same and we allow self-preservation to exist, we hinder our spiritual formation and growth.

If we are to survive and continue to grow out of our struggles we need a community around us to encourage us. If we are more concerned with our own self-preservation we will hide behind an image that we want others to have about us. Our desire for self-preservation is often at the expense of developing authentic relationships with those around us. So how do we start? As with all things, we center on God.

If we are going to develop authentic relationships, we have to be authentic ourselves and authentic with God about where we are. Authenticity is an accurate reflection of truth. Authenticity enables us to truly reflect where we currently are in our relationship with God. Whether it is good, bad or ugly, our honesty serves as a starting point for conversations to begin and change to occur.

• There are many reasons we have for not engaging with others. What barriers are you constructing that are preventing others from seeing the real you? How is this hindering your pursuit of your One Word?

• Read 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, Colossians 2:9-10 and Psalm 139:23-24. According to these verses, what does it mean to be authentic before others and God? Would you say you are being authentic before God or engaging in self-preservation? What makes you answer in the way that you do?

Are you looking for a way to keep your word in front of you all year long? Register for a My One Word account! One of the key features of a MOW account is an online Word Journal that allows you to capture your thoughts to reflective questions like you see above. You can go back at any time to read your completed journals to see how God has been moving in your life through your word in 2010.  If you already have an account, the questions from this blog have been posted to your Word Journal — log in to your account to start your Word Journal today!

Pat The Porcupine

While on vacation, our family took a day trip to a petting zoo. Our daughters loved getting up close and personal with all the animals. The place had your normal array of animals: bunnies, chickens, pigs, sheep, donkeys and miniature horses. Yet, there was a little creature living in a pen off to the side who I never expected to see at a place like this.

When the workers introduced our group to Pat I couldn’t help but snicker from the irony of it all. You see, Pat was a porcupine and porcupines aren’t regarded as the friendliest of creatures. With thousands of sharp quills attached to their body for protection, ‘patting’ or even petting a porcupine seems like an activity which should be avoided at all costs.

Regardless of Pat being a bit more laid back and docile, his natural tendency was the same as any porcupine. If someone invades his personal space, Pat either attacks or hides. In his mind, lashing out or withdrawing are the best options on the table. His quills keep him safe. They keep him alive. But, they also leave him very lonely.

Part of me felt badly for poor old Pat. Having a relationship proves to be a tricky thing because relationships require closeness and vulnerability. How does one experience community if their first reaction to someone getting close is impaling them with a razor sharp quill? How is someone ever known if they hide in the bushes whenever another animal comes by just to say hello?

Then out of nowhere I began feeling sad for myself after realizing Pat and I have a lot in common. I might not have quills to stab another individual, but my hurtful words, judgmental tone, deflective barbs, sharp sarcasm and destructive thoughts can wound any relationship which gets too personal for my liking. The thought of others getting to know the ‘real’ me terrifies me and puts me in attack and withdraw mode.

Hiding my weaknesses, bad habits and ugly tendencies from those around me always seems to be the best course of action. This action appears to provide me with a sense of security, peace and comfort. Yet, these feelings are fleeting at best and rather than thriving, it leaves me living life alone in pure survival mode.

We need each other in order to grow and for our One Word to take root in our lives. To be fully loved an individual must be fully known. This will never take place if you have your quills raised ready to pounce on anyone who dares to see past the façade of the false self you present to the world. So, today we want to leave you with this question: How are you being a porcupine in your relationships? What can you do to be a little less ‘prickly’ today to those trying to care for you?